The Things I Hate About You..

Dear Psycho-

What can I say, really? Every conversation I have with you makes me realize more and more how glad I am that you're no longer a big part of my life. I'm slowly, oh so slowly, phasing you out. You, of course, do not know this. But you will.

Dear, you bore me. I read your IMs and my eyes glaze over. Most of the time, I skim the content-- since you seem to think more is more-- but lately I haven't even done that much. I do a mental "Blah, blah, blah". My replies have nothing to do with your conversation. Yes, your conversation. I've grown so weary of thinking up a reply that seems like I'm kinda sorta paying attention. Now I just have my own conversation with myself. But you haven't noticed even that, have you?

I think back and wonder, "Were you always this incessantly dull?" I can't quite remember. I don't think you were, but then I craved some boredom at that time. I was going through a wicked separation and, before that, my marriage had been so erratic that I longed for the mundane, the ordinary. It's what I thought was stable. But you're far from that, darling.

I came so close to telling you to shut up and go away, far away forever last night when I forced myself to talk to you. Phasing you out, hon. You've become crass and moronic. You try so hard. Too hard. At everything. It flops and makes you look worse. You never used to try so very hard. Maybe that's it. I don't like people who try hard to be cool and impress me. You used to be yourself. I'm not impressed, babe, or jealous. I won't be either. You forget that I never was the jealous type.

You always said that you wanted to be my Prince Charming. I always said I never wanted Prince Charming. You said I was too strong, never needed anyone. It's true. I don't need anyone. But that doesn't mean I don't want. I stopped wanting you because you needed me too much. Prince Charming, your suit of armor is rusty and tarnished. There are gaping holes and dents. You rode in on a hobbyhorse, not a steed. It's a good thing I never wanted Prince Charming. It's too bad you wouldn't give your props up. Look where your ultimatums get you, sweetie.

You said that you wanted someone just like me. You compared her to me many times and found her lacking. Yes, you told me all of this. I don't know why. You said that when she sat a certain way, she looked exactly like me. You said you had her but wanted me. Did you think I'd be charmed? Did you think I'd come running back to you? Or were you trying to make me jealous? You got this instead, snookums. Not what you expected, eh?

Last night, you told me of your shallow life, shallow friends. And it sickened me further. You try too hard. They try too hard, too. You mock them to me. Your friends. Her. What did you think would come from this? You tell me that you're afraid that I'll be the fifth person this year to abandon you. Have you ever wondered why? Why these people-- five!!-- avoid you? Did you never stop to wonder if maybe it was you? No, I'm sure it was them. Right, love?

And I'm sure it's me, too.

Never yours, never again-
R

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Goodness, I'm on a writing spree, aren't I?